Not too much has changed since my last post. I feel like we are in a holding pattern and just sort of waiting for things to come together. We have an attorney assisting us with this process but she is unable to do anything until we provide her with all of the documents needed to apply for the endorsement. We need this endorsement before we can apply for the visa. All of this hard work is to get that highly sought after endorsement and then the visa should be a piece of cake. No endorsement = no visa.

When I say “we” really it’s my husband having to pull this all together since he is the one with the skillset to potentially qualify for this endorsement. I would just get a visa by default if he gets this visa. Then that would be the point for me to freak out since I would be handling all of the logistics of the move. The reason we’re in a holding pattern is that there are many moving parts in applying for this endorsement. He is currently waiting for four people to return to him what are essentially letters of recommendation. He’s received two back so far but these people are incredibly busy and my husband is at their mercy with timing. Once he has those letters we will submit them along with his other documents to our attorney for review. If she gives the thumbs up then she will complete our filing.

I had a family member ask me “if you get this endorsement will that prompt discussion between you and your husband or will it prompt action?” Of course I said “action;” however, I’m starting to see my husband realize that he’d be walking away from some great connections that he has here in the Seattle area only to land somewhere and start from scratch. Is he really ready to move? We’ve decided to proceed with this application and then discuss further when we get the “yes” or “no” regarding the endorsement. It seems pointless to get too involved in this discussion since if the answer is “no” then that solves that. And I haven’t approached this with my employer yet but this move could be even scarier if they do not allow me to stay on with them. If I can keep my job then we can function just fine but if not we might have a problem since I would have a hard time locating a job that makes anything near my current salary in Scotland.

For the first time I have truly been confronted with the fact that it’s entirely possible that this move might not happen, I have truly accepted this as a possibility. That feeling was initially crushing and forced me to really consider what is going on inside of me that causes me to feel so hopeless at the thought of staying here. I realize that I just feel stifled staying in one place for too long. I’m remembering a quote I found under my tea cap one day (which I still have) that said “If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Such a great quote! I need change, I’m not ok with planting roots somewhere and settling down. That is simply not in my nature.

I’m really hoping and praying (oh man am I praying!) that we have this application FIILED by the end of this month. That’s looking like an unrealistic deadline but that’s what we’re both hoping for and I’m going to hang on to that for now. Ok, more to come, after we submit this dang application.